Wednesday, April 15, 2009

My Father, James Fong Kim Foo [1958 - 2009]

The Beginnings...

Something magical happened on 6 June 1958 in a kampong (village) at Pulau Tekong, an island North East of mainland Singapore. My Grandmother had given birth to her 7th child or 5th son. He was named 洪金福 (Fong Kim Foo).

His family worked at rubber tree plantations, vegetable farms as well as fishing to make ends meet.

When he was very young, his elder brother accidentally hit his head with a chankol while loosening the soil in the vegetable farm. The injury was tended by his mother but the scar remained. He would always show it to my brother and me and said how his academic performance was affected by it.

At age 10, his father passed away at the age of 61. His father was a heavy smoker and died with blackened lungs. My father would always warn us the harm of smoking and we never touched cigarettes.

He wasn't a very bright student when he was schooling at Pulau Tekong Primary School. At one year, he retained and became classmates with his younger sister. We knew the head injury didn't contribute to the poor academic performance, because his sister didn't perform well too. That was due to all the work back at home that consumed most of the time needed for studies.

My Father wasn't apt at doing labour work. His siblings confirmed this point and said he was more of a gentleman, than a labourer. After passing Primary school, he was lucky to find a job in a watch shop, doing repairs for watches.

A Family Man

His employer provided accomodation for him in mainland Singapore. He was extremely thrifty and preferred to save money by staying at his allocated accomodation. He stayed there even after he bought an apartment with his mother. In that apartment, his mother was staying with his younger brother and sister. During this period, on 9 April 1983, he met my Mother, an arrangement made between my Mother's colleague (who happened to had married my Father's elder Brother).

Through his eldest brother, he found himself a better paying job working as a salesman in a jewellery shop 美金珠宝行 in People's Park Complex. The original employer was bankrupted and sold the business, but he recommended the new employer (Mr Yeah) to retain my Father as he was a great worker. My Father continued to work under the same boss till his death.

Mother shared that Father had bought her flowers on the first date but was reprimanded by Mother who didn't like flowers. During their courtship, they walked a lot.

After 2 years of courtship, my Father married my Mother on 10 April 1985. He didn't ask for a cent from his mother for the wedding banquet held on 4 October 1985. He settled it all himself. He worked long hours, opting for overtime allowance and forgoing offdays and leave for more pay. They went to Hong Kong for their honeymoon.

They stayed with my Grandmother, Uncle and Aunt in a 3-room flat. I joined in the family in 1986 and my Brother came along in 1989. As it was getting too crowded, my Father bought a 5-room apartment. My Grandmother and Uncle stayed with us. My Aunt married and moved out.

My Father had his fair bit of experience in business. Together with his friends, he invested in a canteen business, KTV and Pub business, which all did not work up. He was even cheated of a branded watch by his friends. From all this experience, he had always asked us not to easily trust other people. I remember this dearly.

When I was 3, my Father carried me to the childcare centre everyday. My Brother was cared for by a nanny. About a year later, a domestic maid took care of my Brother and me at home. However busy my Father was, he would still make time for Family day events organised by Mother's company.

My Father worked from 10am to 10pm. I remember watching Crime Watch on one occasion, and got so worried when he came back late.

As a parent, he was very different from his siblings. He was stern when my Brother and I committed wrong doings but most of the time, he became our friend and listened to our achievements in school. He loved to kiss us and hug us. He was very encouraging. He would tell us how we would grow up to become President Scholars and earn big bucks. He was also very supportive of what we were doing. After his death, I looked at his wallet and found all my namecards in it.

He was a filial son too. He instilled that in us and asked us to be filial to Grandmother and Mother. Sometimes, he would ask us to hand allowances for Grandmother, who would be so happy to receive them. In recent years, when Grandmother had to stay with my Aunt, he was the one who paid for the domestic maid and prepared the red packets so she could give to her descendents during Chinese New Year. When he received a bonus, he would contribute more.

He would sometimes joke to us and asked us not to leave him in the drain when he is old, that he would be happy to just stay with us and that he could help us look after our children. It is sad that we could never repay his care for us.

A Good Worker

My Father was a great worker. He first worked at a watch shop, repairing damaged watches. Later, he worked as a salesman in a jewellery shop. About 5 years ago, he followed his boss, Mr Yeah, and worked as an appraiser at a pawnshop.

When he was diagnosed with cancer, he hid the news from his boss in fear of losing his job. He took off and leave for all the check-ups. However, after the first chemotherapy treatment, he told his boss about his condition and requested for no-paid leave. Mr Yeah told him to rest well and that the leave was no issue. He would be welcome to return to work after recovery. We were very thankful of Mr Yeah of ValueMax Group for his understanding.

As the months go by, Mr Yeah continued to issue salary to Father. He even received a considerable amount of bonus from the company.

We understood from Mr Yeah that a few days before his demise, Father called him to say that he would be returning to work soon. Mr Yeah then asked him not to worry.

His colleagues were very supportive too. They bought expensive tonics for Father. His Manager knew of his condition much earlier than the rest, so he introduced Buddhism to Father. During the weekends, Father would release fishes with monks. Father had gotten himself a Buddhist name as well, called 寂愧.

Mr Yeah helped us a great deal financially. We are indebted to him and happy that Father had worked for the right guy.

A Well-Liked Man

Father was able to blend well with anyone and everyone. When we took the cab out, he would chat with the cabbie and win over the cabbie. Around the neighbourhood, Father was friendly and greeted everyone with a powerful smile. Even before I joined the RC, Father had already known many of the RC members. To support my involvement in grassroots, he joined the Civil Defence Executive Committee.

Father did not like the idea of everyone knowing his condition and we hid it very well. When news finally spread, many people were shocked and saddened. RC member, Mdm Han was one of them. I heard that Father would always hold her hand and help her cross the road when he bumped into her. I have also seen many people who sent their regards with teary eyes.

I remember there was a community event in 2007, called Eunos Heights Family Day. As I just joined grassroots, Father showed his support by helping to man a booth selling durians. He spotted an old lady sitting and staring over to the event location. He passed me a ticket and asked me to invite the old lady to join in the event.

A Charitable Man

Father always asked us to donate generously. He would respond to every letter seeking for donation with a generous amount of donation. When the boy scouts come by our place and asked for donations in return of some form of service they could do for us, Father invited them all in and treated them to drinks and food, before donating.

A Great Father

I remember being very fearful when I wanted to confess to Father that I am having a girlfriend in school. It was past midnight and Father had just finished praying. Then, I said it. To my surprise, he smiled and said it was okay as long as it did not affect studies.

Even though I stopped asking for weekly allowance after NS, Father would routinely check my wallet and stuff in notes when it was empty. My spectacles would always be crystal clear as he cleans it every day so that I could see things clearly.

If Father bought some snacks back and we expressed our liking for them, he would continue to buy them until we got sick of it. He never dug into the tidbits and always reserved them for us.

Other than work, he spent most of his time at home.

When the tumour was confirmed to be carcinogenic in nature, I was with Baohui. I excused myself and weeped my life out in the toilet. Lin Qiang burst out in tears when he reached home and heard it from Father.

An Entertaining Figure

Father was very entertaining, always narrating real-life personal ecnounters. Grandmother never managed to contain her laughter when Father talks to her. To my relatives, Father was jovial and made everyone smiling and happy. My friends would all agree that Father was a cheerful and happy person.

Sending Father Off...

Uncle gasped in surprise to see the large crowd that came on the last night to send Father off.

Among the people that came were Mayor Zainul Abidin Rasheed, Senior Minister of State for Foreign Affairs, together with Eunos Grassroots Leaders; BG (NS) Winston Toh, General Manager of ST Electronics (e-Services) Pte Ltd; Colonel Karen Tan, highest ranking female officer in SAF; Brother's Warrant Officer, Master Sergeant and fellow recruits from NDU; Mr Yeah with his family and colleagues; and many others whose lives were touched by Father.

Many neighbours came and payed their respect, without us informing them. Even the coffeeshop Auntie came by.


Visions of the future with Father and Mother and my family had always been the drive and motivating force for everything I do. How I wish Father could share his stories with my children. They would have loved their Grandfather so much...

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